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Letters to Harry
Being Harry Pickle I, naturally, love pickles. But another thing I love is receiving letters about pickles. Letters to Harry, Dear Harry, Ask Harry, whatever you want to call it, I'm here to listen!
If you want to send me a message, merely drop me a line at Harry@pickleking.com. I check in with my faithful President on a regualr basis to pick up my mail, and would love to hear from you. Don't worry, I'll protect your anonymity.
Here's some of the selections I've pulled out of my pickle mailbag.
Dear Harry,
Hi! Do have any good recipes for Half Sour Dill Pickles? I live in pickle-starved Vancouver, B.C. and crave those fantastic pickles that I've eaten in the great Jewish Deli's of New York and Miami.
Dear Harry,
My Mother-in-law made a very good black pepper pickle, using about 1/4 black pepper in the jar. I can't find out how she made them. Can you help me out?
Dear Pickled in Canada and In-Law Fan,
At the moment, we do not have the pickle recipes you are looking for. But do not dispair! We have now set up a "Wanted" section in our recipes department for people looking for pickle recipes. Check out Pickles Wanted today! You may have a recipe that could bring pickle joy to another pickle lover!
Dear Harry,
Just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed your Web Site. I spent a long time online just looking for a pickle recipe, then I found you! How refreshing!!!! If you have a recipe for pickling green beans, I would love to have it. Being a certified pickle freak, I can't get enough pickles. Thanks for a great Web Site.
Dear Pickle Freak,
Thanks for the compliments, they mean a lot, especially from a certified pickle freak. Trust us, we know how long it takes to get your pickle freak certification, and we offer our congrats. It takes hard time at Pickle U., but a true pickle lover can do it! Thanks again!
Dear Harry,
We were thrilled to discover your pickle pages! We have a parrot named Pickle. She is named Pickle because she is piquant; irresistible; and pickle-size, shape, and color. She also likes to pick at our eyelashes (her way of expressing affection by grooming us). We like to think that all who appreciate pickles would fall in love with our Pickle bird.
Dear Pickle Family,
What a fabulous name for a member of our feathered friends! Actually, it is my opinion that the name Pickle is underated not only for animals, but people as well. Imagine the allure and beauty of an exotic woman named Pickle. Speaking of which, check our new feature about Peculiar Pickle Names. It boggles the mind. Anyways, back to the bird. The only problem I see is constantly seeing an object that resembled a pickle in shape, size, and color. That would create frequent cravings in my household. But seriously, I'm already in love with pickles, and Pickle the Parrot is no exception, and I've never even seen her!
Dear Harry
Hi. I am just writing this quickly to tell you that I think your idea is pretty cool. I am going to be a grad student up at Ithaca this fall and I have been starting to look for interesting things like your club. Aside from the truly original intent of the preservation of my most favorite of favorite side-orders/foods, the idea behind your club sounds good to me. Hope to see more into it!
Dear SPeeDy,
Thanks for your encouraging words! It's nice to know Ithaca is nothing like a home on the range, where seldom in heard an encouraging word. The Pickle Preservation Society would be nothing without the support of people like yourself. All we'd be is a fabulous preserve all dressed up with nowhere to go. Hope to see you at future meetings!
Dear Harry
Can pickle addiction be passed on to your unborn child? I'm not pregnant yet, but the way we eat pickles (Sam's gallon size) I'm afraid when I do, my offspring will have a sour disposition. Any medical findings to support this?
Looking to Have a Baby Claussen
Dear Looking to Have a Baby Claussen,
Fortunately a good friend of mine, Dr. Helmut Pickle, is a scientific expert in the field of pickology in Germany, which deals exclusively in the physical phenomenon of the pickle. After consulting with Dr. Pickle, he informs me that pickle addiction most certainly can be passed to an unborn child. However, I would like to calm any fears you have by ensuring you that this is by no means a bad thing. Various studies by Dr. Pickle have proven that pickle addiction actually causes one's disposition to improve, not sour. In fact, Dr. Pickle has also found that children who were given a steady diet of pickles while in the womb score an average of 26.7 points higher on IQ tests. Good luck with your little pickle project!
Dear Harry,
I have tried making my own pickles for 4 years now and they always turn out mush and taste too much like vinnegar. Where can I find out how to make crunchy "Claussen-like" pickles? Help, I am in distress for putting so many cucumbers to death.
Dear Harry,
I was wondering if you could help me track down a recipe, for lime pickles using pickling lime?
Dear Potential Pickle Killer and Pickle Hungry,
Don't worry! Producing a perfect pickle is a very difficult thing. Fortunately there's nothing better to practice over and over again (well, almost nothing). Anyways, to help you perfect pickle production OH'Brine Pickling, Inc. has a mailing list you can subscribe to that provides some great information. Pickling is a great thing, so keep up the good work!
Dear Harry,
Hi there my fine pickled F.R.I.E.N.D. I was pickled pink to find your fine site on pickles, my epicurian passion. I am your BIGGEST fan!!!!! I love you, man! Please purvey me all the pickle pages you can possibly produce and I will read them in my bed before I sleep. Did I mention I love you? In any case, please marry me and do the wild pickle dance with my pickle.
Dear Pickled Pal,
It's nice to see we have another satisfied pickle customer! Unfortunately I cannot marry you since I'm commited to my lovely dill goddess, whose identity will remain a secret.
Dear Harry,
I need you to settle a dispute I'm having with a friend. Is a pickle a fruit or vegetable? I say it's a fruit, but my friend insists it's a vegetable. We're about to come to blows and need this issue settled.
Dear In a Frenzy,
First off I must say, pickles are nothing to fight over. They are a loving and giving fruit, which of course answers your question. According to the Supreme Court case off 1992 Pickle v. The United States the pickle is a fruit of the seed. But regardless of whether or not it is a fruit or vegetable, the pickle helps create friends, not enemies.
Dear Harry,
I have a problem that I think that only you can help me with. My girlfriend
(Heather) of three years recently broke up with me saying that we had lost our
spark and need to spend some time apart. I have tried everything to get her
back: chocolates, flowers, cards and jewelry. But she still will not give me
the time of day. What can I do to get her back? Please help me Harry.
Desperate and Out of Ideas
Dear Desperate and Out of Ideas,
Relax, take a deep breath. Many guys have this problem, but there is a
very simple solution. Pickles my friend. Do you know that pickles are the
#1 relationship saver in the 90's. A jar of pickles (especially kosher dills)
saves more relationships than chocolates and flowers combined. So take my
advice, go and get some pickles and start to plan the rest of your life with
Heather.
Dear Harry,
As a college football player I like to eat and drink a lot, but I also need
to get the most from my meals. I have been searching for a food or drink that
tastes good while giving me all of the calories, protein and vitamins to keep
me in top shape. I have tried Gatorade and Powerade but I need something
stronger. Any suggestions Harry?
Dear Healthy Hunk,
It is funny you ask this question because many people ask how I keep in
such great shape. I eat right and exercise but the key is to drink two to
three glasses of pickle juice a day. Not only is it a delicous drink but it
contains all of the vitamins and proteins that you need while being 99% fat
free. Pickle juice is stronger and cheaper than Gatorade and Powerade, plus
you get all the pickles in each jar. So drink up and be prepared to be in
great physical shape.
Page design by Pickle King (rob@pickleking.com)
Page Last modified on 8/02/99
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